Envious

What causes men to become envious of each other I will never know. We are all blessed with what it is ment for us to have. To be envious means ( in my eyes) that your not grateful for what you have been blessed with. I think that at some point in our lives we are all guilty of this. Could it be human nature that drives us to wanting more or "better" then what we have? What drives a man to be envious of anothers worldly possessions? In the end we all have leave it behind.

Relationship limbo

Why do we stay with those whom are obviously not suited for us? Plenty of times in the past i had asked my self this question only to draw up a blank. There is a feeling of vulnerability when dating some one new and yet it is exciting at the same time. We love the feeling of KNOWING ( supposedly) the person whom we are laying down with. The awkward moments are gone or cease to be as awkward. Most don't really know that they are stuck in limbo. They often find their selves day dreaming of being with others only to have that cold splash of reality hit them in the face.

Most people would rather suffer in silence then to be alone. Oddly it is when we are alone that we discover ourselves and what makes us tick. If your never alone how do you know who the real you is? Does the face starting back at you in the morning as you brush your teeth look even vaguely familiar? It should actually be mandatory that a person spends at least 2.5 years of their adult life....single. Meaning no booty calls, cut buddies or sexual partners of ANY kind. If we know how we are then we are far less likely to settle for simplicity and more likely to recognize relationship limbo.

In the begining

Growing up we are asked what we would like to be. I can remember always saying that i wanted  to travel and see the world. I pictured myself as a jet setter leaving the life of misery and the ghetto behind. Now as a adult i see that there was a much different world then the one i had imagine. Life had not been as kind as i had hoped or would have liked it to be in order for me to reach my once obtainable goals. I had since had children, been married, been the victim of domestic violence and other gloomy misadventures. But never the less I am grateful for all that this life has thought me. Most of all i am bless to be able to say that I survived. Never in a million years did i think i would be a single mother of 3 struggling pay check to check just to survive off the crumbs of society. I had always hoped that things would get better and i am sure that they will but as for now i will relish the fact that i am surviving where so many others are failing.